procreate drawing of driving a car in the dark feeling anxious

Art is Growth: Social Confidence as an Artist

Large crowds scare me. This is not a good thing when you realise that, to develop your art career, it is very important to build a network and be part of a community. This means visiting galleries and attending crowded private views. 

In November 2024, I started a journey to stretch my comfort zone and practice pushing through my social anxiety. This is a story about an attempted visit to a private view at a gallery I had never been to before. I share this in the hope that it will help others in my situation as well as clarify for myself what steps I should take in the future.

The event was 6–8pm, and that evening I spent a lot of time flip-flopping between talking myself out of going and telling myself to just do it. It took a while before I finally got out the house and sat in the car. I should mention here that I have driving anxiety—the only driving I do is the morning school run—not the best way to help with anxiety. 

The gallery was about 30 minutes drive away and I really should have given up when my sat nav couldn’t find the postcode. Instead, I put the road name in and was sure I would be able to find the gallery on arrival. After a few deep breaths, I started the engine and headed off into the darkness—already feeling anxious that I was running late.

Traffic on the motorway was appalling and, with only thirty minutes left before the event closed, I arrived at the correct street. It was dark and, stressed by all the traffic and people around, I could not find the gallery. I parked up in an Aldi car park and cried, convincing myself that it was not worth going as there was so little time left. The drive home was bad. I panicked about numbness in my left arm and really struggled with the flashing headlights on the motorway. There was tightness in my chest and needed to find a way to settle myself. Turning the radio on I focussed on singing along to distract me. This worked and I made it home. Looking back, I realised that the numb arm was a combination of gripping the steering wheel too tight (I actually had blisters!) and the car fan blowing on my hand 🤦‍♂️).

I understand that this could be seen to be a very unsuccessful evening, but it really wasn’t—I actually left the house after pushing away the negative voices in my head and I drove for over an hour in the dark. I can see this as a big step forward for me and I’m going to take all the little wins and remember them. I did stretch a bit too far out of my comfort zone but I learnt from this that it’s worth doing a reccy in the daytime to plan things out first. 

Over the following weeks I successfully visited some local galleries—during quiet periods—and chatted to the gallerists and artists in there. I am going to continue gently pushing myself into the new year and wish to say a big thanks to my wife, my supportive friends and the wonderful community at the Ceri Hand Coaching Membership for giving me the belief to move forward. 

Thank you for reading—I’d love to hear your thoughts, advice and similar experiences. Let’s grow together. 😊


8 responses to “Art is Growth: Social Confidence as an Artist”

  1. Well done overcoming two anxieties on your trip. Bad luck re satnav delays, that can happen to anyone. So carry on networking.

    1. Thanks so much for reading Barry. Yes, the sat nav still had 2018 roads so I updated the next day.

  2. It’s good to see that although your original attempt to visit the gallery was unsuccessful, it nevertheless achieved a breakthrough in getting you out of the house and paved the way for trips to other galleries. I hope writing about it is having a cathartic effect, too.

    1. Thanks Paddy. Yes, I have a long way to go but continuous practice taking slightly larger steps will get me there 🤞

  3. Well done Gary for your courageous attempt to get to the PV and for sharing your experience. I am sure many people will be able to identify with this.
    Avoidance is part of what maintains anxiety and small manageable steps are the key to overcoming it.
    When attending an event, try to focus on the other people rather than yourself as that will help too.

    1. Thank you Diane for taking the time to reply and your kind comments. I have started to enjoy going and chatting to people in quiet galleries now (after walking past a few times). Busy events still seem a stretch but I’ll continue my journey. 🙏

  4. I feel I was somehow meant to see this today as I too struggle with driving to places (especially at night) and P.V’s are always difficult for me too, due to my aversion to having to ‘make conversation’, and the pressure to be engaging and interesting. It’s great to read that you feel positive on the experience on reflection and has made me think a bit differently on the ways I feel I let myself down. Thankyou for sharing.

    1. Hi Christine, Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. I’m glad my writing has maybe helped you look at things differently – it’s not always easy and I think I need to practice a lot more before it becomes easier but I think it’s something we have to work on if we are to be part of the art world. A mentor of mine suggested that you should try and make it about other people and see how you can add value to their experience rather than concentrating on your own. I like that, it takes the pressure off (a bit) if I actually make it to an event!

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